The habit of comparison starts from a young age - throughout school and education systems I can remember constantly looking at friends results and feedback (often we had to mark each others work too) and either feeling super proud that I had 'beaten' someone, or experience a crushing sense of disappointment if my work suddenly wasn't deemed good enough.
The thing is; I've never been one not to try at something. Not to give it my best shot; so to be told 'this isn't good enough' can be soul destroying; especially at a young age. The need for competitiveness isn't always healthy - every single person has different goals, different ambitions of varying levels and external factors play a massive part of achieving them and reaching 'success'.
I wanted to write this post in response to a lot of posts and influence over social media in the duration of lockdown; all well meaning content I know, but the idea that using lockdown to master a new skill, achieve all your dreams and come out an undeniably better person isn't always possible. During the first couple weeks of lockdown I felt so incredibly down that just the idea of getting out of bed and doing something (even eating) felt exhausting so watching all these success stories (although I was incredibly happy for them; some of these achievements were amazing) made me feel not worthy or productive enough.
I guess this post is some tips and advice I have personally used to achieve my definition of success; implementing these into my daily lifestyle has been a great way to up my productivity, and general mental wellbeing (which is such an important personal success point for me) and generally be one of those almost cliche 'girl boss' personas.
Write down your aims.
This is such an important one for me. If I have to get things done, whether it be blog orientated or general life; I write down a to-do list the night before filled with all the things I need to do, no matter how small. Occasionally I designate time to do certain tasks if I have set plans such as university lectures or meet ups with friends (at the moment most of my days are free for me to do whatever, whenever but it's worth bearing in mind) which saves time and effort - there is nothing worse than getting home and realising you have to go out again, is there? Perhaps it's just me being antisocial.
Play around with what you find best - some people work best writing a list in the morning, or just before you want to get things done; I personally find it better to write one the night before as I wake up feeling productive and ready to start accomplishing things. Another thing I like to do is add simple tasks onto my aims of the day; such as 'make your bed' etc - so you accomplish your first task straight away; then getting you straight into the mindset of productivity.
A little statistic for you; just in case you weren't already convinced - the 14% of people who set goals are ten times more successful than those who don’t. Going to start jotting down those aims for the week now? Thought so!
Manage your time.
Managing your time is vital to achieve success. How many successful people do you look up to that are always late to meetings; don't turn up to appointments or generally don't have a grip on their life? None? That's what I thought. Through organising your lifestyle and managing your time you can really see drastic results in your positive mental state (think how lovely it is to walk around knowing you have everything covered and planned out), connections and relationships and productivity levels (I have a whole post on that too).
As well as being a major life skill; managing your time has major benefits!
Surround yourself with positive, like-minded people.
There is a well known ideology that by immersing yourself into an environment, you adopt those same practices, beliefs and attitudes. By surrounding yourself with people you deem successful, positive and like minded to you - through your subconscious, you will start to become the same! You can do this in many ways; following and engaging with these people via social media, going for coffee with those who inspire you in real life, taking the time to research into positive and encouraging topics you enjoy and hundreds of other ways.
Through surrounding yourself in all aspects of life with those who encourage you, support you and share your dreams - you will be subconsciously paving your way to success. Obviously; some areas you may not be able to remove or change as easily (family etc) but by making gradual changes to those around you, every little helps! Try it; and just see how your mental perspective changes for the better.
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Take risks.
Before anyone starts to feel like they wouldn't be able to do this step, or think that they would be too anxious to be able to take a risk or put themselves out of their comfort zone - girl, I got you. I know exactly what you're feeling - by taking a risk means unfamiliar situations, unfamiliar people and a lack of grip on the whole situation. It can be easy just to sit back and let these opportunities slide because you would feel more comfortable - but stop this!
Thinking back; all of my best opportunities and outcomes came from taking that step into new opportunities, even if it filled me with dread. I realised that these were amazing opportunities that I could put myself in for; and letting myself miss out on the chance because of my intrusive mental thoughts just wasn't on. That extra step and spout of nervous energy can be channelled into something great and productive to aid you into bigger and greater things. By never striving for and seizing opportunities; you won't achieve success. Through throwing yourself into everything that comes your way - think about how great that could be!
Adapt.
One of the best ways to achieve success is to constantly review and adapt yourself, and way of thinking. The first method that comes to my head when thinking about this takes me back to school; where you have to look at how to improve your work after it's been marked and make the necessary changes. Nobody is perfect and we all have somewhere that we can grow, develop and adapt our way of thinking.
By reflecting and constantly trying to better ourselves by learning and researching can only lead to success right? I know one of my university lecturers calls himself a perfectionist but in the sense that he is always striving to achieve perfection; he will never quite be there. In doing so; he is setting an example to always look for ways to improve himself, always have a sense of yearning to be better which I find really inspirational - and to be honest if we're being straight up with the salary he is on, he has to be doing something right.
So what do we think? What are your definitions of success?
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