Who knew how fast days fly by when you're writing 1,000 word emails, even longer blog posts, marketing both and a number of side projects? I realised I was going to burn out and lose my spark and as it turns out, became unmotivated to write anything. The current plan is to stick to writing content for the blog for the regular - either once a week or fortnight and The Sunday Brew may become a monthly thing. I'll trial a few things out and get back to you.
If you did happen to miss my little inputs and thoughts about the world; I tend to be rather active on Twitter and Instagram. No pressure though (but g'on, why not)
'Sorry!' - it's part of the stereotypical British culture, isn't it? Constant apologies to those around you, strangers, pets, or if you're anything like me, inanimate objects that you feel bad for bashing or knocking (for a small person, my two left feet make me seem a lot larger from the apparent space I need to safely function) seem to be the daily occurrence.
I always get told to stop apologising (of course, to which my instant response is 'sorry' - which doesn't help the cause) and it's only recently that I've really started to notice myself doing it. The dictionary defines an apology as 'a regretful acknowledgement of an offence or failure' - and unless you're perfect there will have been a time where an apology was necessary to be able to move on.
But to apologise for everything? No. That's not necessary.
Stop apologising for your emotions.
Life gets crazy, I know. It can become easy to suppress emotions and feelings until they all build up and burst - trust me, been there and done that. Expressing your feelings is never easy, and can be completely dependent on the recipient too. If they make it difficult, or gaslight you, then communicating how you feel will become so much harder and the instinct to apologise grows.
Sometimes your emotions will be irrational and unfounded, but they are still valid and deserve to be treated as such. Something triggered a reaction for this feeling, so explore it and delve into why you are feeling this way - do not apologise and try to bury it, that technique just doesn't work long term. Instead of 'I'm sorry' - try saying 'I feel uncomfortable when...' or 'this upset me because...'. In doing so, you are addressing the conflict of emotions and working to resolve them for the future - you shouldn't have to feel this way again! It's a win-win.
Stop apologising for having 'me time'
In a world full of instant messaging, and the notion that we have to be available at all times via social media or phones, it can be difficult to squeeze in some much needed time for yourself. If a message or email comes through, I struggle to focus or concentrate until it has been replied to, or if I am genuinely busy and cannot give a response instantly - it's the excessive apologies.
What are you apologising for? Having the respect for yourself to practise self care and focus on yourself is a good thing - and it's so brave that you have the confidence to say 'Hey - I'm working on myself at the moment, I'll get back to you in a bit'. If you find it difficult to take some time for yourself on a whim, why not schedule time into your calendar and set up 'out of office' replies which explains it for you - see, easy!
Stop apologising for your appearance.
It can be hard to be a young person in todays society where the expectation is to look flawless, polished and ready for anything. Even on dressed down days in joggers and sweats, they almost have to be paired with a full face of glam makeup to be deemed socially acceptable. To this I say; sod it.
You are beautiful as you are, so do not apologise for being yourself. We all have days where we are tired, didn't sleep well or don't quite feel like we can dress up - it's normal. Would you judge someone else for their appearance? No. Give yourself the same outlook that you give other people and own yourself - show yourself some self love and never apologise for the way you look.
Stop apologising for making yourself heard.
This one really resonates with me, so I'll be interested to see who else can relate. To make yourself heard can be applied to different things; to literally make enough noise so someone can hear what you are saying, or to actually be understood. When you tell somebody how you are feeling, or your perception of a certain event, do you get told that you 'misread the situation' or that you 'should be grateful for what you have'? Sound familiar? Me too.
Sometimes it is essential to actually make yourself heard, and understood. Sometimes it can be all to easy to just sit back and doubt your own opinions because they don't match what others are telling you. Don't. Your opinions matter, and don't let anyone invalidate them.
Stop apologising for your achievements.
Well done - you've done something great - so celebrate it! It can be easy to downplay the promotion at work, the assessment you have passed or a milestone you have been trying to hit; playing the 'oh, it's nothing' card but take pride in yourself.
You know the amount of work you put into that, and you know that you have done your best. Don't let anyone shame your success, or make you feel bad for getting it - you're awesome and you should be able to actively take pride in that!
What do you need to stop apologising for?
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